The Journey........

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Not a charm... but another NSV to report

So, my third fill was not the charm. I'm still not feeling what I would hope restriction would feel like. Maybe not having felt it, I'm not sure what I should be feeling.

Either way, it seems like I can still eat more than the 1/2 cup at time.

On a positive note, I have an NSV to report. I can now fit into the smallest jeans that I own. As with most people, I have multiple sizes in my closet marking my weight fluctuations over the years. I have sizes 26 through 20.

Well, I can now fit into the size 20 jeans that I have! YAY!! That felt sooooo good when I tried them on this morning!!

Which also means that as I continue to lose weight and what I currently have doesn't fit, I will need to shop for new clothes in smaller sizes! For once I won't be outgrowing things and need a large size, it will be smaller sizes!!!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Third Time's a Charm??

I had my third fill yesterday which is good and bad.

  • Maybe I will start to feel some restriction?
  • Closer to my sweet spot?
  • The practice nurse did my fill and I really like her, great to talk to while I'm laying there having someone poking my belly! :-)
  • I'm down another 1.5 lbs. this morning.
  • I hit a plateau about a week back, so I'm hoping this fill stops me from hitting any more for a while.
  • I was on liquid after the fill which means only ate breakfast yesterday
  • I really don't like being on liquids. I feel grumpy.
  • I am on mushies again today, which is ok I guess, but still not real food.
  • My port has decided to make me aware of it's presence. Except for when it was healing right after surgery, I forget I have a port except when I obsess and feel around for it. Well, not in the last few days, I have been actually feeling my port when I move around. Which is a unique sensation and not one I like. Even more so after the fill, which is bugging me right now.
  • My doctor's office is jam packed with appointments. They have a new radio ad on a local station and it's generating a TON of interest for them. So, I can't get another appointment for 3 weeks. Which means if I have no restriction from this fill, I have to wait 3 weeks for another one. :-(
Here's hoping for restriction. My current goal is to hit 250 lbs before May 15th. (Though I'd like to do it sooner!) That will be 79 lbs. lost!

To reach that I have to lose 25 lbs. in the next 84 days. Which puts me at about 2 lbs. per week.

I have a wedding to attend in May, so I'd actually like to be under 250 before then, but we will see what the scale says!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Well, as some of you may have noticed, I have been absent for a while. I haven't posted in over a week. And what a week it was..............

First, there was my goal of 50 lbs. by the Superbowl... which didn't happen for the Superbowl.

... and it didn't happen the next day, or the next day, or the next day....

well, you get the point. Basically, I was a good little bandster all week, I ate fairly well, I went to the gym 4 times, I did my couch to 5k walk/runs... but no, my scale hated me all week. And the scale at the gym was worse, it said I was up 2 lbs.... EEEKK!!

Sooooo... finally, after working at it a week, I did hit my goal, a week late. I have now lost 50 lbs. since starting this band journey.

Second, due to the above, some lay offs at work (thankfully I was safe), and just an overall funk, I've been out of sorts this past week.

Work was just tension filled. Stressed about having more to do with less people at work. It will get better, but not for a while, so this is just causing an overall tension in my life.

I'm really just annoyed at the lack of progress in the weight department. I know I shouldn't be, but there it is. I hit a plateau and I feel like crap. What do I do to combat this.....

Third, I fell off the wagon....

I fell HARD off the wagon... I still have to bumps and bruises!

I ate... and ate. I had nachos, and boneless buffalo wings, and reese's (these are my candy weakness. chocolately peanut buttery goodness... mmmmmmm) .... and it all tasted awesome.

Then I felt like crap. Just overly full and wished I could kick myself.

So, I got lugged my oversized butt back on to that wagon and decided not to let my funk get to me for too long. A week was enough!

Therefore, I am now back on track.

And I'm down another 1.5 lbs!!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Well... the three lbs. goal for this week didn't happen. I was really hoping I would make my own superbowl goal of 50 lbs. Not quite.... here's the details:

Lbs. lost this week: 2.5

Highest Weight - (11/15/09) - 329

Surgery was 12/3/09, I lost 20 lbs on pre-op diet - 309

Current Weight - (2/7/10) - 279.5

Total Lost: 49.5

.5 l bs! That's it! That all that stands between me and making my goal. But nooooooo.... I weighed myself like 5 times this morning and FOR ONCE, my scale came up with a consistent weight each time. It was taunting me, just saying 279.5 each time. Like HA HA, you didn't make it and I will prove it to you over, and over, and over again.

I will not allow myself to get depressed over this. I will not let this be disheartening. I must look on the positives.

I am down nearly 50 lbs!!

I have dropped a pant size!!

I may have missed my own goal date, but this is a long process, not a race!

Oh, and I will not let myself completely pig out at today's Superbowl party! The 6ccs doesn't seem to have given me any more restriction. I'm still eating as much as I could before.

That's it for now. Go SAINTS!

Friday, February 5, 2010

2 Month Bandiversary

Wrote this and intended to post it last night, but I got caught up in watching Zombieland (if you haven't seen it, it's hysterical!)..... so here it is...

.....I completely forgot that yesterday was two months since I received my band. I was very aware of my band yesterday because I just had a fill, so I was on mushies and SO hungry.

On most days, however, I tend to forget that I have a band until something reminds me. When I'm eating and have to remind myself to chew more, etc.

The weight loss is never far some my mind as I'm a bit obsessive about weighting myself. It's my morning ritual and I feel strange when I don't get to weigh myself. Last weekend when I was staying a a friends watching her daughter, I woke up, did my usual morning business in the bathroom, then looked for a scale....

GASP, she had no scale. I guess that's what you get when you're at someone's house who's fit and runs all the time... UGH :-D

So, yeah, that's my usual everyday ritual. Get up, head to the bathroom, take care of business, get out of my pjs, step on the scale and hope for a better number than the day before. It's a love/hate relationship.

After two months living with my band, here are the things that I have found:
  • Burping is a constant part of my life - I'll have to blog more on this later
  • I have to think about everything I eat and consider if this is something that might get stuck.
  • I have yet to PB or slime and I'm both grateful and worried about the first time.
  • I'm getting less obsessed with feeling my port, but I think that will return when there's less of a layer of fat over it!
  • I HATE being on a liquid diet. Love getting a fill, but hate that part that comes with it.
  • I read stories and blog on a daily basis of people who have had amazing success with the band, and I'm jealous and hoping I can be one of them in a year!
  • I'm impatient, when the scale doesn't move or something doesn't fit yet, I start feeling discouraged and upset.
  • My friends and family are a great cheering section, they are happy and proud of me, and I love them so much!
I'm sure there are a million more and I will write more when I think of them...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Gurgle, Gurgle, Gurgle

My stomach has been talking to me all day. It's been saying a mixture of the following:

"Mushies again, are you serious, I want real food!"

"You've been 'dieting' for over two months now, isn't this usually the time you quit?"

"What the hell is this thing you've put around me, please get it out now!"

"I didn't sign up for less food and this thing tightening around me and I don't like it!"

"Seriously, I want nachos and cheese, and pizza, and reese's, and ... and... "


Obviously, my stomach is a chatty cathy today. :-) It doesn't seem to realize yet that this band and food lifestyle change is permanent.

Guess I just have to live with the voice in my stomach until it adjusts!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Fill'er Up

Today was my follow up appointment with my surgeon. I had my first fill a little over a week ago and haven't felt any restriction. The practice nurse, who is awesome, told me to call back if I felt like I needed more and they would get me in.

This is a huge change from the initial discussion I had with my surgeon who told me that as long as I was losing I wouldn't get a fill. Not the case, I talked it over the the nurse and my surgeon, played a little bit of advocate for myself and now I'm on my second fill.

So, today's fill went really quick. Took my surgeon a few minutes to fill me up again. Then did a quick barium swallow to make sure I wasn't too full. Drank down some barium... mmmm, NOT! Then had a bit of water. Everything stayed down, so I was good to go.

I now have a total of 6cc's!!

3cc's from the first fill and another 3 added today.

Hopefully I will start to feel some restriction, but for the night, I'm on liquids. Then onto mushies tomorrow, and full food on Friday. So, we will see how I feel on Friday.

I'm really hoping this fill helps me gets to my personal Super Bowl Goal of 50 lbs!