Three pounds....

It's been a long weekend. I headed out west... Western Massachusetts that is, to watch my best friend's daughter for the weekend. My friend and her husband really needed an adult get away weekend. Their first since their daughter was born. She's three now, so I'd say they were WAY overdue!

My niece decided to come with me, so it was a bit surreal. I had a 12 year old and a 3 year old for the weekend. Instant parenthood weekend!

It wasn't that bad, the 3 year old missed her parents and the 12 year old is all pre-teenage angsty, so it made for an interesting weekend. The 3 year old was up around 5-6 AM, but the 12 year old wanted to stay up late with me, so I am SOOOO TIRED!! *YAWN*

Here are the two kiddos out at lunch, sorry it's a bit blurry. Need a new cell phone.

Oh, and my title... That is my goal for this week. That will put me at my second goal of 50 lbs! YAY!!

Survery says..... or rather, Scale says....

My scale says I didn't kill myself with my stress eating yesterday. In fact, there is no change from the last few days. That's why I was hoping for a fill, so I could feel some restriction and start losing more. But it will have to wait until next week.

Otherwise, things are going well. I put on a pair of pants yesterday that I hadn't worn in quite a while which felt nice. They are a 24, so I wasn' t that happy, but they are a 24 I have never been able to wear when the rest of my 24s fit. I could only ever wear them when I was in a 20 or 22, so I count them as a 22. :-)

Bad Day

Today was a bad day.

• I had an appointment to get another fill as I am not feeling restriction, but I had to cancel due to a work meeting I got called into.
• My mother was laid off and is really upset.
• My sister called me freaking out because she couldn't get a hold of my niece who's 12 after she got out of school. She is supposed to call immediately when she gets home. Then when she tried to call my niece's cell phone and older guy answered then hung up and wouldn't pick up the phone again. Everything turned out ok, but you can imagine the fear and thoughts running through everyone's heads. After involving the police, it turned out fine and was due to a mis-communication by my niece's school and a lost cell phone, but it was a tense and stressful afternoon.
• Due to all that, I stress ate a bit and now I'm upset with myself. We'll have to see what kind of damage I did in the morning on the scale.
  

Here's hoping tomorrow will be better.

Ho Hum

Yesterday and today are dreary, raining, gray days around here. Look outside and everything just looks.. dull. Which has put me in a bit of a ho hum mood.

That and I still have no restriction, so I will be phoning my dr. office today to see if I can get in there before my next appointment and get another fill. I'll let you all know how that conversation goes.

Oh yeah, and my latest obsession is feeling my port. Weird I know, but now that I know where it is and can feel it under my skin if I squish around, I keep feeling it all the time. I don't know why really, I guess I think it's kind of cool or bizarre maybe.

And I've also been having other people feel it too. My sister, my niece, my mom, have all received the 'Come on, feel my port. You know, you want to feel it' talk from me. Each gave a resounding - 'EW, Weird!'

The only one I haven't had really feel it is my boyfriend. He probably has felt it unknowingly, but for some reason, I don't want my port to be in the top of his mind when his hands are on my stomach! ;-)

Otherwise, things are going well, I indulged a bit last night and had some ice cream. No Sugar Added Cookie Dough, so it's not a huge amount of calories, so I don't feel that bad. I'm still way under my BMR for the day, so that is good.

I do have the need to 'tsk tsk' myself. I was supposed to start the Couch to 5K on Sunday, but football party ended up taking precedence and I didn't. So, I will be starting that tomorrow instead. A bit of a delay, but I really need to push myself on this. I'm not a runner, never have been. When I had to run the mile in High School - I hated it! and it was more of a walk the mile for me.

For a positive note, tonight my wonderful boyfriend got me tickets to see one of my favorite bands, Shinedown. So, I'll be rocking at the House of Blues in Boston tonight with them and Puddle of Mudd. YAY!

Off to straighten my hair - JOY!

Hallelujah

So, I'm driving to work this morning. Running late as usual, stuck in traffic, and knowing I'm going to be late for my boss' staff meeting. Pretty typical start to my day. I'm perpetually running late and I blame my mom, she's the exact same way. :-)

On the radio, they are talking about the Hope for Haiti teleathon/concert and then they play the song that Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris did, "Hallelujah".

Now, I have always been a fan of this song, both the original Leaonard Cohen version and the Jeff Buckley version. If you weren't intorduced to Jeff Buckley before his death in 1997, his CD Grace is absolutely amazing.

Here I am this morning, sitting in traffic, listening to this song, and all of a sudden I'm crying. Just pouring tears in my car. The song is beautiful, haunting even. The vocals of Timberlake and Morris were wonderful. And the overall song, with the cause it was used for this time, just brought me to tears. If you haven't heard it, I suggest you check it out on iTunes. If you have time, check out both the Timberlake version and Jeff Buckley's version.

Food and the Gym

After my fill on Friday I was on liquids. Yesterday was mushies. Applesauce and Mashed Potatoes got me through the day. With some cheese on the potatoes for protein of course! :-)

Today I'm back on regular food and we will see how it goes. I didn't really feel restriction with the mushies, so we will see how regular food goes down. I'm hoping to feel some restriction, but I'm not sure if I will yet. At 3ccs, does sound like anyone had really good restriction.

Then I am headed to the gym today to start the couch to 5K. This involved two of my goals. One - to complete this program and start jogging/running and Two - to run a 5K race on Thanksgiving of this year. Hopefully, I can get the program going and start jogging as part of my gym routine. By Thanksgiving maybe I can keep up with my friends who are going to run the 5K with me!

On another note, here's a picture of me and my boyfriend. It's from 2 years ago, when I was approximately the same weight I am now. Sad that I put on over 40 lbs in two years. UGH!

FIRST FILL!!

YAY! I am happy to report that I had my first fill yesterday! My doctor's appointment was in the afternoon and to be honest I wasn't expecting a fill. Last time I was there, I was told that as long as I continued to lose 1-2 lbs a week, I wouldn't see a fill.

Well, not true as it turns out. I met with the office nurse, who was wonderful. We talked about how much I can eat (umm, a LOT!) and if I feel any restriction (No!). Then she asked if I wanted my first fill.....

Ummm, Hell Yes!

So, then onto the fill, which was I guess what I expected, but a little weird. Novocaine around the area first, so I felt three little stings. Then lots of pressure as the fill needle was inserted. No pain, just pressure of pushing onto the port. Then in a few minutes it was done. 3ccs in!

Drank a bit of water, no problems there.

I'm was on liquid last night and mushies today, but back on regular food tomorrow.

And, I was told if I don't feel any restriction over the next few days, I can call and come back in for more!

I was a bit bummed, thinking my doctor was going to be super conservative, but I guess not, and I'm really going to advocate for myself on this and make sure when I feel like I need a fill, that my doctor listens to me.

On another positive note, I wore a pair of size 22 jeans yesterday that hadn't fit in a while! :-)